the lonely love child
by castiel in the tardis
Summary: Just when will Percy see how much Nico really cares? Slash


**the lonely love child**

**Summary: Just when will Percy see how much Nico really cares? Nico-centric, onesided N/P **

* * *

He's there the first time Percy really _let's loose_ at CampHalf Blood that year. He's laughing and talking and he swears that his eyes are shining like angel dust or some shit like that. He's just… perfect.

So happy.

He wants to go up and talk with him. Wants him to give him a quarter of the attention he gives Annabeth or Grover.

But he's okay with where he is.

At the back.

It's fine. Just… fine.

* * *

He's there the first time Percy is truly a hero. Those same sparkling eyes sparkle with a deadly fire, his brow nit and tan skin worn with scars from things just unimaginable. The war is over and everyone is resting, but not him.

He's on edge, every loud noise, every sudden laugh throws him off. No one really notices it. No one but him. Part of him wants to walk over, lay a hand on his shoulder and tell Percy that it's okay.

But he's okay with where he is.

At the back.

It's fine. Just… fine.

* * *

He's there while Percy eats for the first time with his new 'friends'. Nico's lurking in the back, keeping his presence turned down so not even Hazel can feel him. It's been months since he's seen him, months since anyone really has seen him, and all he wants to do is hug him and tell him to never ever leave because it _scared him_. Scared him so much.

Percy's always been this huge wall, this giant protective wall that's always stood strong, even during the times where any other would break. When he just went missing… It shook him.

But now he's here. With no memory, but he's here.

He's skinnier, more rugged and his hair's longer than 'acceptable.' But he's healthy and smiling and has no broken bones and that's all that really matters.

This huge part of him, so big he's sure that it'll consume him any moment now, wants to cry and hug him and cry some more. Wants to beg him to never leave him alone, to not disappear like Bianca and just stay safe for once.

But he's okay with where he is.

At the back.

It's fine… just fine.

* * *

He's there when Percy and Jason fight his captors. He can vaguely feel someone dragging him out of his jail, but he can't really tell between the hallucinations and the fact that _Percy Jackson_ is right there.

He can see the monsters every where, hear them whispering in his ear, feel their breath fog up his eyes and their claws cut symbols and sigils into his flesh. He knows they're not real, but all that time in Tartarus has left a permanent mark on himself, one that he'll try to hide from everyone else no matter how bad it'll get.

There's a light however, one that isn't even waiting at the end of this never ending tunnel. He looks well, back to his perfect muscular form, hair cut and sea green eyes fierce and proud.

He's swinging Riptide, yelling things to the Giants and whoever he was with and maybe even Nico himself.

All Nico wants to do is find feeling in his legs and run right into that fight, protect Percy from harm and show him that he is _worth_ it.

But he's okay where he is.

At the back.

It's fine… Just fine.

* * *

He's there when Percy decides it's okay to let go. Nico's leaning over the pit, arm stretching as far as humanly possible. _Just… a bit… more_. He grunts and groans and ignores the stabbing pain because Percy is down there and Percy will die if he doesn't get his shit together.

"The other side, Nico! We'll see you there. Understand?" Percy yells, his beautiful, _beautiful _eyes as calm as an ocean before a storm. "But-" He knows where this is going and he's not going to let this happen.

Not again.

"Lead them! Promise me."

_No. _

"I will."

_Stop. Don't. I can get you out, just please Percy, don't. _

He turns his head back down to Annabeth.

_Stop, please don't. Please. _

He lets go.

And for once, Nico's not okay being at the back. He wants to be the one Percy's clinging on to in the darkness. He wants to be the one holding onto him.

It's not fine. It's not fine at all.

* * *

He's there when Percy comes to thank him. He's all rested up, his face looking a little less gaunt, eyes still stuck in that beautiful calm. "Thank you," he says, his smile soft and appreciative. Nico stiffens. "What for?"

"You promised to lead the other's to the House of Hades. You did it." He continues to tie methodically, trying so hard to forget everything that's happened in the last couple of days.

"You got me out of that bronze jar in Rome. Saved my life yet again. It was the least I could do." That's not all. There's so much more. "Also, you visited Bob… You convinced Bob I could be trusted even though _I _never visited him. I never gave him a second thought. You probably saved our lives by being nice to him."

_Why is he talking to me?_ This isn't making things any easier. "Yeah well, not giving people a second thought… that can be dangerous." _Now leave. Leave me alone and please just be happy_.

"Dude, I'm trying to say thank you."

_Leave. _

He laughs a laugh devoid of any humour. "I'm trying to say you don't need to. Now I need to finish this, if you could give me some space?"

"Yeah. Yeah okay."

Percy obliges, giving him enough time to finish the knot and clear his head.

_Don't let him know. Just breathe. Shut him out and you'll be fine._

And then _she _walks in. "Good luck," she tells him. Good luck. _Good luck?_ Of all the things she could say…

He wants her to feel his pain, and so much worse, but he knows that'll never happen. He knows for as long as Percy is alive he'll be there for Annabeth, and there's nothing that will change it.

He just wishes… It could have been different. That he could just be the normal boy for once. But that just can't happen, right?

"Yeah. You too."

He doesn't meet her eyes.

Eventually he wanders off to the rail, away from Nico but still in eyeshot. Annabeth presses against him, and kisses him. Twice. And at that moment, Nico would give anything to be in Annabeth's place. Loved, by a person you love in return.

All he wants is to march up to Percy, tell him everything, and just disappear. Forever.

That's all he wants.

Is it too much to ask?

He wants to go over there, and tell him that he's sorry, he's just on edge and tired and he really doesn't want Percy to give him space.

But he's okay with where he is.

At the back.

It's fine… just fine.

* * *

**A/N: AGHHHH first PJO fic ever! Huge fan of the Nico/Percy pairing, though I used to like Percabeth a whole ton before. It's just this whole unrequited love thing really speaks to me, and I just all around love Nico now.**

**And, (time for the unpopular opinion of the day) Annabeth and Percy as a couple drives me up the wall. They annoy me. A lot. Nico's just always been a favourite, and now with the current characters we have, he and Leo are just the best. Everyone else have either worn their welcome or just failed from their introduction. Or turned into whatever Percy and Annabeth turned into.**

**I took a bit of creative license with some scenes, so no they won't match the book 100%. It's supposed to be solely the way Nico views Percy, but if there are some things that just don't add up, I apologise. I tried to be as close as possible.**

**So yeah, I hope you enjoyed! Leave a review if you did, it really makes my day. 'Til then,**

**~Castiel in the Tardis**


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